i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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