woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
