actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
