genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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