I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
