okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
