honey bunches of taint.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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