Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
