The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
