i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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