I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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