Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The air taste purple.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
