just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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