Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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