the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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