Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He felt like a one man threesome
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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