Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
