Do vagina's smell?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
