i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
