If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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