Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
