dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
