we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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