Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
