i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
