I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My dick has a subreddit
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize