He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
