you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
