saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
