We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize