there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
