and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
