I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
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