so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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