Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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