Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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