Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
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He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
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The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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