Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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