and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize