We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
