I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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