It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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