So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
