He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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