Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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