D3 body, D1 cock
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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