Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
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I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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