btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
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At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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