Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i believe in u and ur pee
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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