Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
