so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
