That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
