who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
