at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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