you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
ugly people sure do ruin things
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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