she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
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It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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