I want to make a zoo with you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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