I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
