I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
