dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
