dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Operation Purity has been aborted
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
