do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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